Five insights that changed the way I approach music (and life)

The more I learn about music, the more I understand it to be a reflection of life – the principles which help you be a better musician make you a better human, and vice versa. Here are five insights I've learned over the years in my development as both a musician and human.

1. Music ultimately lives within the connection between musician and listener.

Many musical traditions, especially classical ones, treat music as something fixed, existing in some abstract realm beyond the musician. In a performance, the musician tries to recreate and represent it as accurately as possible. I find that this perspective creates anxiety around making music: a sense that we are ‘beneath it;’ a fear that we can fall short of the ideal; the belief that the mistakes we make will follow us, or that our performance defines us in some way as musicians or humans.

When we understand music (and life) as something which only truly exists in the present, we can see it for what it is – a constantly renewable resource, each moment providing us a new opportunity to create and self-create. 

2. Your voice is the most important thing you can offer musically.

Even when playing music written by others, you as the performer are, by definition, the most fundamental component of the musical experience. The musical world of that moment relies on your presence; without you, it would collapse. Whether you are aware or not, every performance you give carries your ‘musical fingerprints’. Yet, that is ultimately the thing that people are looking for most: your authentic expression, born from your unique perspective at that moment in time.

3. How you play is more important than what.

Music is fundamentally about relationships – between rhythm, pitch, and other musical elements. While some of these are evident, most are so subtle that what we recognize as the ‘x’ factor can only be fully developed and expressed intuitively. No matter how much you may try to control a performance, the energy behind it inevitably comes though. The nuances of how you express yourself musically reflect how you relate to yourself, your craft, and the world at large.

In my experience, people connect most deeply with a performance based on three things: 

competency: the technical capacity to express yourself articulately

authenticity: confident expression of who you are and what you have to say, even if mistakes are present

risk-taking: a willingness to play, experiment, and push limits in the moment

What draws us to our favorite artists is rarely their technical skill alone, but who they are as a person and how they relate to their craft (which more often than not translates into a high level of technical mastery.)

Most of us can think of at least one live performance where the singer forgot the lyrics or something on stage didn’t go according to plan, yet how they related to what happened charmed us more than if they had delivered a perfect performance. The truth is that people are drawn more to who you are being than what you are doing. 

4. Expectations distance you from the present moment.

Music, at its true nature, is unnecessary. It is not something we do in order to sustain life, but something we do to express and celebrate its true nature. When we begin to look for something out of the experience, we shift from a perspective of wonder to one of measuring reality against our pre-existing expectations. Instead of fully experiencing the moment, we begin to ask ‘is this what I need?’

Often, musicians miss the beauty of an entire performance due to one wrong note or imperfect run, fixated on the gap between reality and the ideal in their head. Our minds are incredibly skilled at always setting the bar beyond where we currently are. When we release our attachment to a specific outcome, we allow ourselves to focus on what is instead of what isn’t, and allow ourselves to experience the joy inherent to the musical experience.

5. Connection lies just beyond the risk of authentic expression.

The most meaningful connections of my life have always come from expressing something that felt risky at the time. In each case, I have found that others resonate with what I am feeling; they have often simply also been hesitant to express it. The simple truth is that in order to find the people who will resonate with what you share, you must first share it. The connections which are most authentic to you can only be discovered by taking this risk.

We underestimate the attractive power of speaking our truth confidently, without regard for the outcome. When it comes down to it, people love seeing others do ‘their thing' – however strange or unique it may be – because when others express themselves confidently, it give us the confidence to do so ourselves. 

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If this post resonated with you, I offer private, one-on-one music instruction. You can learn more here.